Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
