Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
