North Korea, Best Korea!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
