Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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