fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
