no. you can't hotbox the world.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
