Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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