...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
