In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
