hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
