You really coming over, don't trick.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
