Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
