im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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