Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
