He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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