Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Randomize
