is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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