I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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