Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
