Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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