we made out on top of his cat.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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