I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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