I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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