hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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