Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
