Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
