Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
