Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
