we have pet lesbian snakes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
