I am puke
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
