i just wanna soil my oats bro
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You're like the curious george of whores
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
