woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
