Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
