just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
