Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
