**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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