It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
