So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
