i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
