I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
