No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
