sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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