did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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