Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
