I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
