Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
