Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
