I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
