I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
