can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
