dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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