I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
